


Crash

by delighted



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-11
Updated: 2017-06-11
Packaged: 2018-11-12 20:24:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11169420
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delighted/pseuds/delighted
Summary: Steve knows Danny’s headed for one of his lows, and he plans on being there for him. What he doesn’t plan on is how Danny decides to deal with it....





	Crash

They’d all gone to RumFire that night, to celebrate an unusual stretch of days that had gone really well. Easy cases with happy resolutions; some remarkable progress on a few long term things; no one was having rough times personally... things just felt _good_.

So of course Steve was watching Danny very closely.

Because those words he’d confessed to his partner, while they were stuck under that pile of rubble—those words stayed with Steve. And almost more than he watched for signs Danny was having a hard time (those were easy to see, by the way, and they absolutely required treatment—something Steve had gotten quite adept at over the years). But almost more than that. He watched for when things were going  _well_. He watched for that moment they tipped into going “too” well.

He’d missed it once. Danny’d ended up “sick” for three days before Steve figured out what was really going on. And he didn’t care to repeat the experience. So he’d learned to watch, very closely, for the warning signs.

There had been a few clues over the past few days: Danny glancing expectantly over his shoulder; reacting with expressions that said “it’s not really going to be _that_ easy;” and giving Steve, when he brought Danny some lunch or some chocolate or his third coffee, a quizzical look (rather than just accepting the gesture as part of his due for putting up with Steve, as he usually did). Certainly nothing big. But Steve had a feeling it was coming.

Danny drank too much that night. Granted, it’s easy to do at RumFire, and the bar wasn’t all that crowded because it was the middle of the week, so they had the full attention of the staff who adored them all. They were fed and fêted and treated like minor deities. Kono was glowing, Lou was pontificating, Chin looked smug yet humble in that way only he could. Danny was giddy—one of the waitresses had a crush on him, and knowing his insatiable sweet tooth, had brought one of each of their famous desserts for the team, but Danny ate more than his share.

And Steve was starting to plan what his next move needed to be.  

When they got up to leave, Steve telling everyone to take the next day off, he held Danny back. The moon was just rising over Diamond Head, the waves were calm but insistent, and the crowds were mostly in from the beach. The idea came like a pull from the moon and waves.

“Walk with me,” Steve said in a low voice, in Danny’s ear.

Danny shivered in response which set little alarm bells off in Steve’s heart. When Danny slipped his arm in Steve’s, he managed to suppress his own shiver. Barely. It didn’t help when Danny decided he couldn’t walk very well on his own and needed Steve’s support. Or when he kicked his shoes off, leaving them for Steve to carry. Or when, still holding on to Steve, he walked along the edge of the water, just getting his toes wet, allowing Steve to stay up on dry land. As the tide was coming in, they had to keep adjusting their trajectory, but Danny managed it effortlessly (leading Steve to suppose he was less inebriated than he’d let on back at the bar). They made it just past the kids’ swimming ponds, and Danny turned them back, walking slowly, their energy ebbing. As they neared RumFire again, Steve steered them towards the lawn chairs tucked along the shrubs that bordered the resort’s pool. Right up at the edge closest to the beach, the grass slopes towards the sand, and there’s a cozy spot where you can sit away from view. They selected two chairs, backs adjusted so they could see the moon through the palms, and settled in, shuddering just slightly in the cooling evening breeze. Danny let his hand closest to Steve fall slack off the edge of the chair. Carefully, Steve let his do the same, and Danny brushed the back of his hand against Steve’s. Steve held his hand in place, and Danny’s fingers came round to grasp his, so they were sitting, hands held just above the grass, between the chairs. No one would have seen, even if anyone had noticed they were there. Still, it felt bold.

Danny sighed contentedly. “It’s been a good couple weeks, hasn’t it.”

“Yeah....” Steve braced himself. He knew where Danny was going; he hadn’t been sure he’d get there tonight, but he supposed he should be relieved to be getting it out.

“So why do I feel like shit?”

_Yep_. He didn’t like being right. But at least he was prepared. Steve closed his eyes, swallowed uncomfortably. “Because you’re afraid of what’s coming.”

A sharp intake of breath. “What?”

“Because,” Steve steadied his tone as best he could. “Things have been good, so you’re starting to look for the bad stuff you know is coming.”

“Steven, how do you—” But Steve cut him off.

“Please don’t think, Danny, that I do not remember the things you tell me.” It was one thing to joke about it. Another to hold it as a truth.

“Yeah, but....” But Danny didn’t seem to have anything else to say, and the wind started picking up, as it often did in the evening. When Steve noticed Danny shivering in honest, he gave his hand a firm squeeze.

“Come on, buddy, let’s get you home.”

Danny didn’t resist, he seemed lost in whatever line of thought he’d fallen into. He kept hold of Steve’s hand, though. And that was leading Steve to feel a bit adrift in his own thoughts—or more to the point, the absence of thoughts.

They walked along the edge of the deserted pool, through the trees between the two hotels, and to the parking garage. As they neared the Camaro, Danny yanked on Steve’s arm, dragging him into a dark corner at the edge of the garage. Stretching himself up and pulling Steve down at the same time, Danny reached Steve’s lips with a sigh, and lunged, making Steve have to push back to steady them and keep them from over-balancing. He wrapped his arms around Danny, allowed the kiss for a moment, then separated them enough to whisper “Not here.”

He got Danny in the car and then stood there, taking a few deep breaths, before getting in. Driving slowly and carefully down to the exit gate, Steve tried to gather himself, to decide what to do now. As much (and for as long) as he’d wanted that kiss, he really hadn’t seen it coming, and he wasn’t sure what it meant. He wasn’t sure Danny did either. By the time they had paid and were out of the garage, he’d made up his mind; he headed to his place. Maybe it wasn’t the moon on the water, or the sound of the waves, but he already knew those things soothed Danny—maybe it was the negative ions from the waves. Danny’s house was inland, and Steve had learned from experience that taking an upset Danny to his own house never worked well. So he took Danny to his place. The fact that Danny didn’t move to object made him suspect Danny’d worked out the same connection Steve had. Or maybe he just didn’t care. Or maybe it was what he wanted. It was next to impossible to tell—Danny was giving no signs that Steve could read. He simply sat, perfectly contained, waiting. It was, frankly, unnerving.

Fortunately, it wasn’t far to Steve’s house. He led Danny around to the back of the house, thinking they’d sit outside, maybe down by the water. But they didn’t make it further than the lanai before Danny was pushing him up against the railing, trying to get closer. He savored the kiss for a good long minute, but then tangled his fingers in Danny’s and held him still.

“Don’t do this to keep those feelings at bay.” Steve’s tone was soft, but the feeling behind his words was strong.

Danny ran his hands over his hair. “That,” he said, pausing for a deep, slow breath, “is  _not_  what I am doing.”

Steve wanted to believe that, he did. But he knew Danny, knew how Danny worked... and he didn’t trust himself right now because he knew his own feelings were getting in the way. “Then what  _are_  you doing?” He asked, not totally confident the answer would be the one he wanted.

“I’m trying to hold on to the good.” He sat down on the steps, and pulled Steve with him. “Look. What happens is that... it’s like I get swept away on a flood of the good, and then I get dragged under by it. What if I can ride the crest of the wave instead? What if I can grab on and not let go, and I’ll be pulled  _over_  the undertow instead?”

“Did you just make a surfing metaphor?”

“Something like that. Only what if it is the answer?”

Steve rubbed his face in his hands. He couldn’t think clearly, he felt faint and woozy, and he was half convinced everything would be okay if he could keep kissing Danny. But something within him kept ringing warning bells.

“Alright, look. I’m willing to try that.” He squeezed Danny’s hands so hard it had to hurt. “ _If_ ,” he said, sternly—well, as sternly as he could considering he was pretty sure his desire was patently clear in his eyes. “ _If_  you sleep in the guest room and we talk about this in the morning.”

“You want me to sleep on it.”

“Something like that,” he echoed.

“Yeah, alright. I guess that’s fair.”

It was  _not_  fair, not at all fair, many parts of Steve protested. He felt like a peevish child.

Steve got Danny settled in the guest room, managed to escape without being molested—or doing any molesting—but he knew he wouldn’t sleep. So he took his guitar out to the lanai, and very, very softly began to play. Nothing specific, just messing around a bit. He sighed at the moon as if he could blame her for the pull he felt. Maybe it was something bigger than either of them tonight, he thought. They’d made it through so much before now and not come to this. What had changed, he wondered. Why tonight?

He stopped playing as he fell further into thought, but was torn from his musing by Danny: “Don’t stop, I was enjoying that.”

Steve looked back at Danny, standing there, in his boxers and nothing else, gilded by the moonlight. _Stupid infuriating moon full of magnetism and romance_ , he swore silently.

Out loud he said: “Shouldn’t you be sleeping?”

Danny grinned. “In your bed with you?” He licked his lips. “ _Yes_.”

“Danny....”

“I’m not drunk, Steve. I never was.”

He turned away from Danny, let out a slow, even, resigned breath. “Yeah, I kind of figured that out.”

“So why not?”

“Because you’re trying to keep from falling into that pit of gloom, and you’re not thinking clearly, and you will resent me for it.”

“I’m not and I will not. Could you please give me some credit here? Do you think I would dare, _dare_ wreck our relationship over something stupid?”

Steve didn’t trust himself to respond. He stood, leaving his guitar on the chair.

Danny walked towards him, reaching out for the neck of his shirt, pulling on it, licking those damn lips again. “Admit it. You’re not going to sleep, with me in the other room. You’ll be up all night.”

He raised his eyebrows quizzically, because what on earth made Danny think he was any more likely to sleep, with him in his bed?

“Just sleep. You can even put a pillow between us if you want. Just... let me be in the same bed as you, please.”

Steve covered his mouth with his hand, pulled at his bottom lip, trying really hard not to stare at Danny’s lips.

Danny noticed Steve watching and licked his lips again. “If you wake up still doubting me, we can talk about it then.”

Knowing Danny was right, and he wasn’t likely to sleep anyway, he nodded slightly, grabbed his guitar, and led the way to his room. They crawled into bed, and Danny was remarkably good at staying on “his” half; Steve kind of wished he wasn’t. He fussed, trying to get comfortable without touching Danny. After a while of his tossing, Danny turned to face him.

“Babe. Just settle. You’re worse than a dog.” And he reached out an arm. “Utterly platonic, I swear.”

Steve rolled his eyes, but moved a few inches closer. “You are not capable of being platonic,” he muttered.

“Oh, really? What’s the past seven years been, then?”

“Thinly veiled,” Steve pointed out.

“Yeah, okay, you have a point,” Danny said, amused, and put his arm lightly around Steve’s shoulder.

“I still think you’re going to feel differently in the morning,” Steve sighed, trying not to enjoy the contact too much.

“We will see about that.”

Steve woke to sunlight glistening off Danny’s chest hairs. Which is what he noticed, because Danny was practically on top of him, kissing his chest, his neck.

“I told you I wouldn’t change my mind,” he said between kisses.

“Danny.”

“Yeawp,” the kisses were growing slurpy.

“Let’s get some food in you, okay?”

Danny sat up, exasperated, yet not surprised. “Still don’t believe me, huh?”

“Let’s just eat, okay?”

“Okaay,” he replied, shoving the hair out of his face and climbing down from the bed, thudding into the bathroom, and locking the door behind him.

Seriously? Locking the door. Steve sighed and went down the hall to use the other bathroom.

Steve made omelets (for protein), coffee (extra strong), and fresh fruit (no pineapple). They ate on the lanai, Danny enjoying his food and chatting away, while Steve barely tasted his and hardly registered a word Danny said.

The air was still, just the barest breeze. The water was calm, the skies overcast. It was, Steve realized, the perfect weather to be out on his board. Which gave him an idea.

“Let’s go paddle boarding,” Steve suggested when Danny paused in his talking (it’s possible he noticed Steve hadn’t been paying attention to what he was saying). “Some exercise will help clear your head.”

“Steven, my head does not need clearing, but obviously yours does, so okay. But this is for you, babe, alright? Not for me. Just so we’re clear on that.” And he kissed Steve on the cheek, then went to get ready.

And, yeah, okay, Steve needed his head cleared. He felt like he needed all of his insides cleared. Is it possible for a foggy head to so expand that your whole body becomes foggy? It sure felt like it.

So he might have overdone the paddle boarding. Just a little (or maybe a lot).

Danny gave up eventually and sat down on the board, leaving Steve to do all the work. He dangled his fingers in the water, made snarky commentary, and otherwise was just perfectly, wonderfully, splendidly  _Danny_.

When they got back to land, he staggered melodramatically up to the grass and fell down in the shade of the trees. Steve ambled up more slowly, carrying the board and the paddles, and placed them gently on the porch before grabbing the bottles of water they’d left on the table. He collapsed on the grass next to Danny, holding one of the waters out over his head.

Danny took it and sat up, opening the bottle and taking a drink. Then he put the lid back on, tossed it into the grass next to him, and looked intently at Steve. “Babe. I’ve slept on it. I’ve been fed, I’ve exercised. When will you admit that this is something I really do want?”

Steve did not know how to answer that. He didn’t know what his answer  _was_. “I....” He took a sip of water, a blatant attempt at stalling.

“You still don’t trust me...”

He shook his head. “That’s not it.”

Danny moved closer. “Then what?”

Digging deep, Steve endeavored to put words to the thought that was foremost in his mind. “I don’t want  _us_  to be one of the good things you crash over.”

He smiled a slightly knowing smile that made Steve’s skin prickle, then picked his bottle back up and started peeling the label off. “You know, I’ve had seven years to think about that.”

Steve frowned. Surely he wasn’t saying what it sounded like he was saying...? Had  _they_  been a possibility that whole time? Surely not. “Okay....” He gestured for Danny to continue.

“The thing is. It’s past that point. It might have been the case, early on. But not now, not after all we’ve been through.... We’ve had more than enough downs for me to know they happen—but also for me to know,  _for my whole body to know_ , that we always come back up.” He’d gotten the label off, folded it over several times, and handed it to Steve (a small, intimate gesture that made Steve smile... of course Danny handed Steve his trash). Danny didn’t notice Steve’s smile, he just continued. “I’ve never had that long of a time, proving a relationship before it’s even begun. I think that’s impossible to overstate. You already know that I’m like this. You knew it was coming, you’ve been watching me—I know you have. And, you know what? It helped. And maybe... maybe that made more of a difference than I imagined it could.”

“So, what, this makes us immune to your whole pit of doom thing?”

“Yeah, honestly, I think in a way it does. I’m not promising anything, I could be wrong. But I am more than willing to take that risk, because I know that if I fall, you’ll catch me.”

And that word choice was kind of ironic, Steve felt. He closed his eyes. Was he about to admit this? Yeah, evidently he was. “I  _fell_  a long time ago.”

Danny laughed, sweetly. “I know.” He brushed the hair out of his face, and looked at Steve, eyes glinting. “I didn’t fall. You  _tripped_  me. Maybe that’s the difference.” And, on that note, he practically tackled Steve into the grass, covering him with his whole body, pressing him into the damp ground, and kissing him with all he was worth.

Steve had just enough time to hope that Danny was right, before the metaphorical wave crashed over him, sweeping them both away on the tide of inevitability that was, and always had been,  _them_.


End file.
